Let's see, what is there to say? Not much really. The trouble with the missus is down to nilch. I told her everything I planned to tell her, exactly how I fealt. It was definitely a weight off my shoulders. I don't know how she exactly feels, even after telling her all of this stuff more than a week ago. There is something there, something underlying that I just can't wuite pick out at the moment. Oh well, nothing to fret about. I won't worry myself over some girl at this point in my life. It's pretty much true to what my sister said: Boyfriends or Girlfriends are just hobbies you have in your life and they should never completely absorb it.
I don't know what's going to happen between Sara and I. We've been dating for a little over 7 months now. The other day I surprised her with flowers and a full meal when she came over because she was having a hard week. Just trying to do something nice for her...but I don't know, sometimes when I do stuff like that for her, I feel like it's going unappreciated. I know she like's it, but she doesn't reciprocate that to me. I love crazy girls, way more than I do girly girls, but it makes me feel really good inside when I can make a crazy girl like Sara get all giddy like a girly girl from something I've done and just make them wanna be in arms. *sigh* I'm just a simple, old-fashioned romantic with simple needs.
Besides that underlying frustration, there is the obvious one. I haven't been really intimate with Sara for close to three weeks. There always seems to be something that screws it over, like the other night...her stomach was upset, and I can't even remember what hindered us the rpevious times, so yeah. Bit of sexual frsutration pent up. And it's been at least a month since we've been intensely sexual or intiment with one another. Used to be during the summer she was all set to want to have sex with me, but now?
Not actually saying I would with her...my whole idea with who my first was going to be was that it would be romantic and all that good stuff, and your feelings between would have made it all the sweeter. Now? I dunno, but it seems like the flare and appeal have all but disappeared entirely.
Oh how mine loins acheth.
And I've been feeling really bad about this lately. Recently I've been having reoccuring uhhh, fantasies you might say about other girls. I can name at least three off the top of my head. I think this is in part due to the large amount of sexual frustration I am enduring. My worst worry, that I might act on it, which is the cardinal of all sins in a relationship. Damn, I so could have been a player in my lifetime. With these dashing good looks and boyish charm? Hells yes...
Shutup...leave me to my denial and delusions.
Other than that, everything is pretty quiet on the homefront. A play and the SATs in two weeks. Three scholarships I have to complete soon...another one I'm really worried about because it could mean $5000 in my pocket or down the drain. If I could only get $20,000 in scholarships, I'd be set for at least one year of college at CSU, and if I could get at least one year free with scholarships, I know I could get through college with little to no debt.
I also have a play I really need to start writing dialogue to. I somewhat have a stage outline/direction written down but it needs dialogue and I need this written up before christmas break in a month and a half. That way I can present in to my theatre teacher, get it approved, and have it ready to start rehearsing around February or March. I need at least two good months of rehearshal in my mind for it to be decent, and more time to also produce a set with proper props, costumes, and sets. If I'm allowed one thing in theatre, this would be the biggest. It would be something no one else at Waco High has ever done, and probably one of the most spectaculr plays ever performed here. A two hour long epic filled with love, comedy, drama, and fight scenes that would last anywhere from 30 seconds to six minutes. Basically, a dramatic movie made for the stage. I'm so close; If I just get the script written up, Mr. Lowe can't deny me the opportunity. I just need his approval and Mr. O'Bryant's to use actors from both classes and ample time to work with both and I can promise them a play like no other.
Too much exitement. Mustn't let it get to my head or overwhelm me. Plan everything one step at a time. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to let my imagination run wild while listening to the sountrack to Pirates of the Carribean. By the by, anyone know when that's coming out on video and dvd?