So I'm sarcastic, huh? Too cynical? A smartass? Sorry, honey, but you haven't been, and I doubt you will be, the one to motivate to be a completely different person. You've awakened the romantic, but that's something I always do for anyone I care about. The next step would to be to change who I am utterly. I've rearranged other things to suit some demands, but in the end, I am who I am.
In the end, we are who are. You aren't the one truly meant for me, though you are one I was meant to share time with. Destiny does not happen; we make it happen. I cannot change who I am for you because I do not see the point. A year from now? We'll most likely be going our seperate ways. Me to Colorado, you to stay here or go to Austin. We're very much alike emotionally...we do relate, but I suppose understanding isn't there. In the end, our paths are not the same. They will diverge, but we must take what we can now to help us in the future.
Where does the path split? Or does it end? Time can only tell.
More troubles with the lady friend as you can see. Its times like these where I know we're not meant for one another. I don't regret having sex with her. I wasn't saving it for just one person, just someone I love. So happens to be she is one of those I love, but not the person I love. I'm glad I lost my virginity now, even to her. It gave me a sense of reality, realism to it all. I made love to a person who I love, but cannot be with forever. It helps to understand that in our life there are many people we can people, but eventually we will find that one...before them all or after them all.
Do not trust to hope, but do fight for it, for that is the essence of what hope is.
*sigh* I keep telling myself this everyday.